We Sure Did Dodge a Bullet Didn't We?

July 26, 2009

"We sure did dodge a bullet!" Sharon says to her friend as she takes a puff of her cigarette. She looked relieved and puts her hands through her curly brown hair. "It could have gone really bad Sarah, you are lucky I pulled you out when I did."

"Yeah, where would I be without you?" Sarah says trying to convince herself as she looks at her phone, no messages, no voicemails, no calls. She sat on the park bench, staring at all the happy couples. They look so incredibly satisfied with each other. Sarah wondered if she could ever be that with someone.

"You would be heartbroken and lost without me," Sharon's all to familiar voice replied, it was almost as if she could read Sarah's mind. She was Sarah's constant companion, the only thing that had been consistent in her life the last five years. Sarah remembered when they first met.

Sarah sat in the darkness, outside of her small one bedroom apartment on the cool ground of a cement paradise, the city of San Juan was nothing but concrete painted in bright colors, yellow, hot pink, orange, blue and green. She couldnt believe it was over, she choked on tears. They kept on coming and she thought she would drowned in the bitter saltiness of her tangible sadness, but the thought of drowning wasn't entirely undesirable at the moment. The words kept echoing in her mind "It's over." It stabbed her in the heart, deeper and deeper, piercing her being.

'Is it over?' Sarah asked herself. She began to cry and put her hands over her face. The heat of the San Juan night couldnt spare her of how cold her now ex girlfriend had been to her 'Could a three year long relationship really end in one night?' she thought.

"Yes, it can," a women comes from out of the shadows. "Cigerratte?" She asks and holds out a pack of Sarah's favorite brand.

"I quit years ago," Sarah says too emotional to be surprised or even curious about where this strange, sexy, brown haired woman had come from and more importantly the question didnt even cross her mind... how did this woman read her thoughts?

"Oh come on," she says putting the camel turkish gold in her mouth and lighting it. "It will help calm your nerves."

"I guess you are right," she takes the newly litted cigarette from out of the mysterious woman's mouth.

"I am Sharon," she says holding out her hand to lift Sarah up from the unyielding cement ground.

"I am....."

"Sarah," Sharon finishes Sarah's introduction, "I know exactly who you are, possibly I know almost everything about you, and most importantly..."

Sarah grabs on Sharon's hand and begins to feel a little bit better as she is lifted up. It was good to have someone close by in her time of need. Strangely, it felt as if her and Sharon knew each other, like they had been friends their whole life. She wipes the tears from her eyes and looks at Sharon with some curiousity.

"I know what is best for you," Sharon says matter of factly and walks in the apartment, goes straight to the bedroom.

"Hold on!!" Sarah says hesistant to go inside, "my ex is in there!" but it was too late, Sharon was already in. Sarah waited, wondering if her ex lover would welcome such an intrusion, especially after this dramatic night.

Sharon came out with an overnight bag, and hands Sarah her cell phone. "What is all this for?" Sarah asks confused, "and what did she say when you just walked in our apartment? did she notice?" Sarah was too afraid to say her name, it was too painful to even think of her let alone....

"Don't worry about that my dear," Sharon hands her new friend the cell phone, "call that girl, the one that has the crush on you, she will make you feel better about the whole thing."

"Wouldn't that make things worse between my girlfriend and I?" Sarah asks concerned looking up the phone number.

"She isnt your girlfriend anymore!" Sharon yells and grabs the phone from out of Sarah's hand and dials the number, "get the fuck over it!"

"Shouldnt I give it some time before I start seeing other girls?" Sarah asks and is startled by the phone being shoved to her face, she hears her friend on the other line ask 'hello Sarah?'

"Talk to her!" Sharon says trying to push the girls together.

"Yeah, hey," Sarah says not really sure what to say to her friend who for so long fantasized of a moment when she can have Sarah all to herself.

"Something wrong?" Rosaline asked on the other line, a concerned tone. Sharon grabs the phone from Sarah rudely.

"Yeah, Rosaline," she says and winks at Sarah, "Me and my girlfriend broke up."

Sarah is confused and shocked. Wouldnt Rosaline notice it wasnt even her on the phone?

"Really?" Sharon asks with a smile, "you really wouldnt mind if I spent a few weeks at your house?"

That was years ago..... and still here they were, a pair. Sarah and Sharon, the unseperable couple of girls. They were a small gang, Sharon always had Sarah's back. Sarah remembered the years she spent in Puerto Rico under the teaching and direction of her new mentor, her best friend, the only person she could trust. They did everything together. Sharon made her feel strong, immune to heartbreak, and most importantly she reminded Sarah that life was supposed to be fun.

"Remember that time that you and I went to that club?" Sharon asks with a smile and crosses her legs, "and you made out with that one girl, the really pretty one?"

"yeah, what great times," Sarah says unenthusiastically, and grabs a leaf from the grass to examine it. She traced the brown leaf with her fingers, it was amazing something so lifeless and dead could be so beautiful, just like her.

"You are still stuck on that girl arent you?" Sharon asks annoyed. "What did I tell you!?"

"Yes, Sharon!" Sarah rips the leaf in half and throws it on the ground, "I am still stuck on her! and nothing you can say this time is going to make me feel better."

"Get over it!!" Sharon stands up and puts her hands on her hips. "Let's go make some friends, have some fun!"

"I was just fucking fine without you!!" Sarah stands up to make herself at the same level of her unwanted companion.

"You were not okay without me you ungrateful bitch!" Sharon takes a few steps forward staring at the sun.

Sarah remembered for once, being completely alone with the one person she loves without her friend Sharon trying to complicate things. It was a little scary being without her protection, her friend keeping her from safe from heartbreak for so many years. She wondered if she would last in a relationship being so open, vulnerable and without her defensive line.

"I promise you I will always love you," her best friend and lover says to Sarah putting her hand through her hair.

"I hope so," Sarah says and embraces her girlfriend tighter. It was a beautiful moment for the both of them, one that they would never forget.

"You forget that you were the one that asked for me, begged me to come back, things were getting too serious for you and you were afraid to be alone with her!" Sharon smoothly points out, "you needed me."

"I need you like I need the plague," Sarah says thinking about the words she just said and inhales another puff of her camel.

"What did you say?" Sharon seems appauled. "Remember all the times I protected you from getting hurt?"

"you know what?" Sarah flicks the cigarette across the park "I don't need nicotine to feel better, its a dirty filthy habit. Just like you."

"What about all those times, all the good times we had, all of the girls we dated?" Sharon grabs Sarah's shoulders and looks her in the eyes. Sarah noticed Sharon's eyes began to lose their glimmer, their life, their shine. It was an empty sad place within her friend's eyes.

"You got in between me and all of them," Sarah says realizing how much of it was true, "you are the reason I am so miserable now."

Sharon began to fade slightly, parts of her being blown by the wind. "I helped you in your darkest hours!" Sharon's voice began to dissipate just like her form.

"I shall never forgive you for getting between Candy and I," Sarah's tone becomes angry, "and I have never needed your help."

And just like the very first night they met, Sharon slowely became dark, not like a cloud or a mist but a shadow on the grass. The shape of a woman, a shadow with no host tracing its distinct feminine form unattached to anyone. A stranger with no face, and no place in this world. It was eerie to see a shadow so independent, and with no cause or reason for its presence.

Sarah watched the shadow walk away, she could see the legs and arms move with every step, away from her. As the shadow walked away Sarah felt a little lonely, for the first time being without her friend, keeping her from being hurt again. It was gonna be hard living without her. Sarah watched in the distance, watching the feminine shadow walk toward the big oak tree, which was hosting its magnificent dark shadow providing shelter from the sun for a couple of teenagers, unaffected by the bitterness of love. The shadow, that had once been her best friend, walked inside the shadow of the tree and became one with it's darkness, cooling off the unaware eighteen year old girl and boy.

'Gone for now,' Sarah felt relieved, 'now I can work on repairing my broken relationship.'

'Is it over?' Karen thought with tears in her eyes and leaned her body on the strong oak tree.

"Yes, unfortunately," A woman comes out from behind the oak tree, "cigarette?"

"Sure, well, I have never smoked before," Karen is hesitant and musters up some strength to stop crying for a moment.

"It will help you calm your nerves girl," Sharon lit the cigarette and placed it in Karen's hand.

"I'll go for anything right now." Karen takes her first puff.

"I am Sharon," the woman holds out her hand to lift the young girl from off the soft grass.

"I am...."

"Karen," Sharon finishes Karen's introduction for her and lifts her from her sorrow, "I know exactly who you are, and possibly I know almost everything about you and most importantly I know what is best for you."

Karen looks shocked and suprised, yet comfortable with her new found friend. She felt like she had known her for her whole life and felt safe with Sharon.

"Let's call that boy that has been dying to kiss you," Sharon smiles and hands Karen her cell phone, "and have some fun!"

"Don't you think it's too soon to see other boys?" Karen pulls on her bright pink converse shoe laces.

"He isn't your boyfriend anymore!" Sharon grabs the phone and dials the number, "get the fuck over it!"