Crack Doc

September 10, 2009

My friend Jason, who I also called the "Crack Doc", constantly would call me a player or a jedi player, saying I had the 'force'. He would be on his bar stool at his favorite beach bar on the coast of Puerto Rico drinking medalla, the Puerto Rican beer. I would sit down next to the 'Crack Doc'. Let it be known the reason I called him the Crack Doc, was because, as you can guess he spent all his money on crack. And he did crack in every country, sampling crack rocks of the world. Jason was free to go anywhere he wanted, being 100% disabled with his monthly disability coming into his bank account each and every month for the rest of his life so he could afford his cracked out world travels, this year was San Juan for him. When he first told me he was 100% disabled I was in complete shock, he looked completely fine to me, but his post traumatic stress from the Gulf War said differently. Perhaps this was the reason he was so hooked on crack now. Whatever the case, he had a major crush on the bar tender and came everyday to this beach side bar to enjoy her company.

Seems Precious right? It's not as cute as it sounds. The bartender was co-owner of the small outdoor beach bar. The other owner was her husband, a Vietnam war vet who had his legs blown off in the war leaving him in a wheel chair for the rest of his life. His only reason to live was his beautiful wife and business partner.

"You see Sarah," the Crack Doc whispered over to me while his bartender crush went to the other side of the bar to get him another drink, "her husband has no legs, so that gives me an advantage."

'Only the Crack Doc would be that low to steal a legless man's wife,' I thought to myself and reconsidered ever getting his advice. Which brings me to the other reason I call him 'Crack Doc.' At the time he was my 'go to guy' I would sit with him at his bar, spot on the beach, street side curb, and get advise and counseling from him, similar to what a Doctor in Psychology would provide, Except his advise was free!! But it is true, you do get what you pay for. Especially when I was getting insight from a guy that thinks its okay to take a disabled man's woman.

The Crack Doc observed my behavior and came up with this crazy theory that I was a female player and I had this force to get whatever girl I wanted, gay or straight. He would see me with a girl and smile his mischievous smile congratulating me on yet another girl. Little did he know not all the girls I hung out with wanted me, some just wanted to be friends. But in his crazy warped head I was out terrorizing the town one prospective beauty at a time. He couldn't have been further from the truth. While it was true I did date many women at this time, I was not intimate with most of them. I have always prided myself on being extremely selective. Does that make me a player? I think not. At any rate, he wanted me to teach him my ways.

But what are my ways? I have no ways. I am completely honest and out front with everyone I date. I don't know how to play games, so I don't play them. I don't have a master plan, it doesn't bother me if I don't get kissed on the first date. It doesn't hurt my pride when she stands me up (well except Dr. McDreamy standing me up kinda hurt but I'm over it). I have no expectations for anyone that goes out with me, and really honestly there isn't as many as the Crack Doc thought. The way I see it, you can go out and have a good time with many dates and never get physical or serious with them. Additionally, I have always valued friendship above everything else, I love to be best friends with my prospective girlfriend before I even reach intimacy.

So here I am a few years older. Sometimes I think of the Crack Doc and smile and wonder if others have the same misconception as he did about me. Particularly this week, I have been engaged in two conversations which ended with the said correspondent referring to me as a 'player.' Whenever I hear this word in my direction I cringe because nothing could be further from the truth. And on top of that I am not seeing anyone right now!! Calling me a player is like saying that Barbara Streisand is an African American, its just not true. Perhaps to the outsiders looking in it seems accurate, but to my closest friends nothing could be further from the truth. So just to clear things up with everyone, I am not nor have I ever been a player. I admit I have gone through phases but I remained genuine through every single one of them.