First Day of School

"Ehhhh.....Take your seats....." Mr. Kim struggled for the words to end the sentence but couldn't come up with anything but "type thing."

All of the students sat down at their over sized desk in the under sized classroom of ten. Private Burrows reflected on when she was put on the detail last year to move the massively huge desks up two to four flights of stairs to replace the smaller more manageable desks.

Private Burrows looked over at Specialist Dick Muffin, the most senior ranked member of the classroom (which wasn't saying much), with contempt. He looked at the rest of the students with a puffed out chest, not unlike a cock ready to fight anyone that undermined his authority, or lack thereof.

'Why did he have to be in my class?' she questioned and remembered when he took moving these very desks a little too seriously.

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"Now the LT has given us a direct order to replace these older smaller desks with these brand new bigger desks in the classrooms of this here Korean Language School. Hooah!" SPC Dick Muffin strained his weak puberty strained voice to be heard over the young soldiers as he chewed on the tip of a cinnamon flavored toothpick.

"Excuse me," one of the other Specialist raised her hand, "but aren't these desks bigger than the stairway itself?"

"By God, when the LT says get the desks replaced with new ones, it is not our place to question 'how we will get this task done sir?' but 'what is the time allotted for this mission, sir?'" SPC Dick Muffin replied to what seemed to everyone else as a legitimate concern."Now Private Burrows, you seem responsible, you take these three privates and start work on the fourth floor, clear out the old desks from the classrooms, then report to me."

"Uhhhh..." Private Burrows replied unsure what to call someone who was in a position of authority but no stripes, "yes, Specialist."

The four soldiers started walking up the stairs, analyzing the dimensions of the stairwell itself.

"Wasn't there a part in the ASVAB that dealt with space depth perception, and a small amount of engineering?" Private Burrows asked the other three soldiers. "There is no way these huge desks are going to fit up these stairs, did any one of you try lifting one of those desks?"

"They are heavy!" One of the privates replied and took off his camouflage cap.

"It will take at least three of us to carry the desk up the stairs," Private Burrows tried to envision how such a task would work, "one pulling and two pushing."

"That could work!" another Private said and pulled the sleeves up revealing his tiny arms.

Private Burrows visualized the young private with his tiny arms attempting to lift the elephant sized desk up the stairs. She looked down at her own small pencil like arms and had serious doubts about their personal safety.

She couldn't help but imagine what a disaster this would turn into.

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"For the love of all that is Holy keep pushing!" Private Burrows yells from the top of the steps pulling the awkward sized thing.

"I can't, my arms hurt!" The weak private no older than 19 years old yells out.

"Think of your family at home!" Private Burrows yells out, "if not for yourself do it for them! Can little Billy live without a dad?"

"Who is little Billy?" sweat rolls down his forehead as he tries to lift and push the desk an inch closer to half way up the first stair case to the second floor, "I don't have any kids."

"Do it for freedom and for your country. Hooah!" The other Private said to Private Skinny Arms imitating their red headed leader SPC Dick Muffin.

"Yes Sir! SPC Tool Bag!" Private Skinny Arms began to laugh while releasing his grip from the massive obnoxiously huge desks.

In an instant the desk fell backwards like a run-away steam engine ready to crush anyone in its way, unfortunately Private Skinny Arms sustained most the force, crushing his small bones, every single one of them.

'How would I ever tell the family?' Private Burrows thought and snapped back into reality, which was....nobody is hurt yet... she had to come up with a plan to succeed the most difficult physical task assigned to her during her first week of training at the Defense Language Institute in Montery, California.

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The group of young soldiers entered the classrooms and began to remove the desks from the inside and into the hallways.

"I have an idea!" Private Burrows picked up one of the desks and turned it upside down.

"Turn it upside down?" Private Skinny Arms asked.

Private Burrows slid the desk across the floor. "You ever slide down the stairs on your knees?"

"With or without carpet?" the other Private with a smirk.

"You idiot!" Private Skinny Arms punched the other private on the arm and laughed, "carpet of course!"

"Ouch!" the Private grabbed his upper arm massaging out the pain caused by Skinny Arms. "Are we going to slide down the stairs on our knees?"

"No, we are going to slide the desks down the stairs," Private Burrows replied with a mischievous grin, "thereby accomplishing the task faster."

The Privates lined up the desks in a line and one by one slid the desks down the stairs of each floor. Private Burrows on the fourth floor sliding one desk down to Private Skinny Arms on the third floor who then slid it to the remaining Private on the second floor. The noise the desks made crashing against the walls of the stairway was insurmountably the loudest noise on base.

It only took 15 minutes to transport all the desks from the fourth floor to the second floor. They felt much accomplished and Private Burrows felt an overwhelming confidence that she had indeed overcome such a task in record time.

"Alright," Private Burrows motioned for her fellow soldiers to gather round, "that was fast, now all we have is one floor left, let's get this done before they see us being so reckless with government property."

"I am not sure how anyone walking by this vicinity would not be able to hear that awful noise of a desk going down the stairs and then crashing into the wall," Private Skinny Arms points out feeling a little uneasy about the whole situation, "let alone hundreds of desks."

"That is the point," Private Burrows pointed out and pushed a desk down the stairs to the first floor, "let's get it done fast before they notice the noise and come to investigate."

Not much time passed and the Privates slid their way past being noticed, literally. The adrenaline pumping through their young veins gave them energy enough to feel that they could carry the giant brand new desks from the Container and into the School, even the fourth floor seemed plausible.

"Okay same, concept, except reverse," Private Burrows walked toward the container and up the ramp, "we will slide these up the stairs instead of lifting them."

"Won't it scratch the surface of the brand new government issued desks?" Private Skinny Arms asked.

"Maybe a little," Private Burrows measured the consequences of such an action, "but I personally don't want that huge desk falling on either one of you breaking your heads, help me pick this up and turn it upside down."

"You got it," one of the Private answers and helps left the desk, "we need more help, what does this thing weigh?"

Private Burrows wondered if the officers who had ordered the desks chose the heaviest and biggest desks to torture the young soldiers forced to carry them up stairs into the classrooms. Sometimes Private Burrows thought these same officers spent their entire Army days between naps and coffee breaks coming up with ways they can make everyone's enlisted life more difficult.

"The hardest part will be flipping them over," Private Burrows encouraged her Privates under her delegated authority.

Once they had gotten one desk flipped over carried to the stair case, they proceeded to lay the desk on the stairs where it sat at a 45 degree angle.

"Okay," Private Burrows stepped out of the stairwell, "you two push it up, but do it as fast as you can to gain momentum, the minute you stop the harder it will be."

"Ahhhh!" one of the Private yells out, "you know a thing or two about physics!"

"One, Two," the two Privates grasps the desks preparing for an uphill run. "Three!"

They go running up the stairs, the desk successfully relocated within two minutes.

"Is it scratched!?" Private Burrows asks the Privates panting from the intense climb of their life.

"Let's see," They flip the desk on its side and examine the surface, "Negative!"

Private Burrows felt much relief and accomplishment, 'work smarter not harder,' she thought.

"What in Sam Hill is going on here!?" a loud voice echoes through the empty hallways.

The hair stood up on the heads of all three of the soldiers and they knew this wasn't good. They were stunned unable to speak as they saw a figure of a man walking toward them.

"We are moving desks sir," Private Burrows says with a tremble in her voice, "we are on the detail to move these desks inside the classrooms."

"Not like that you aren't!!" The officer's rank began to shine as he approached the Privates, this must have been the LT himself.

"Sir, we are not strong enough to conceivably perform the task by carrying these desks up the stairs without risking injury," Private Burrows tried to sound convincing hoping but not remembering if the other two Privates had their sleeves rolled up exposing their bony arms.

"So what you are trying to tell me PRIVATE," the LT gave the Privates the worst look they had ever seen, "is that you are not STRONG enough?"

"Yes, Sir," Private Burrows answered knowing it was the true answer but not the correct answer. She had never really completely conformed to the Army way of life of obeying and never asking questions, doing everything the conventional way, there was no room for creativity in the Armed Forces, no different answer then the one taught.

"Never accept defeat PRIVATES!" The LT screamed at the top of his longs chanting off some Army Value they had been forced to learn.

Private Burrows wondered how performing a task in a way that reduces injury while at the same time got the job done was accepting defeat.

"So I want you to do this task the right way," the Privates exhaled in dread of having to lift the enormous and heavy desk up four flights of stairs, "the desks right side up, carrying them up the stairs one by one."

"I would like to see him do it," one of the Privates whispered.

"Who said that!!!??" The LT yelled out.

Everyone felt the blood rush to their heads and they knew things went from bad to worse.

"Well then," The LT's neck veins appeared distended from anger, "Since nobody claims it. You will all work all day and all night until this task is done!"

The LT began to walk away, "and your senior Specialist Dick Muffin will make sure you do it. You can thank your battle buddy!"

It was a long night and SPC Dick Muffin refused to help the soldiers, sweat poured from the poor soldiers bodies, saturating their BDUs and the Privates couldn't help but feel they were being punished for doing things a smarter way, different then the LT had wanted. There probably wasn't a scientist, engineer, physicists, or Doctor who would argue that it was indeed more intelligent and less of a risk for injury to do things the way they had been doing.

SPC Dick Muffin wasn't in agreement, "You Privates had to do things the stupid way instead of the Army way and now I am stuck here watching you when I could be out downtown drinking!"

'The Army Way," Private Burrows thought as she strained her broken muscles awkwardly pushing what seemed to be desks that got heavier and heavier as the night passed, 'Why is it the Army Way is always the most difficult way? Is the Navy Way any easier? Should I have joined the Air Force? I bet their way might be more user friendly and less straining.'

A part of Private Burrows wished that a desk would fall down the stairs breaking someone's leg and then they will understand the risk of doing things with what she perceived was the 'idiotic way' synonymous with 'Army way.' Perhaps then things would be different... 'maybe if enough people get injured doing things the 'Army Way' then we can start changing the way things are done.'

She didn't have such luck. They had performed a miracle and still managed to make it to Physical Training after a whole four hours of sleep.

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SPC Dick Muffin sat comfortably in his chair resting his elbow on the fruits of their hard labor, their night of torture, the desk.

Private Burrows looked around the classroom and calculated that it had taken them 10 minutes to carry each of the desk upstairs and ripped at least five or six muscles a pieces forcing them to twist and rotate their body parts in unnatural positions as they did everything they could to move the beasts of academic necessity, and to move them 'the Army Way'.

Contempt was the word she felt for SPC Dick Muffin, the prior service guy who apparently thought he was better than everyone else. Private Burrows wondered how long it would take the others to realize how much of a prick he was.

Today was the first day of class, 'they will probably figure it out by the end of the week,' Private Burrows thought trying to focus on the dry erase board.

Mr. Kim wrote his name on the board.

"My a name is......a ...... Mr Kim," he was an older Korean man with a thick accent, "I.....uhhhhh.. will be your teacher.....uh...... type thing."

The image of Mr Miyagi creapt into Private Burrows' mind. 'Wax on wax off.'

"Uhhh.....Stand up....Er ro nay yo...." Mr Kim raised his arms, "uhhhhh.......Ka.....type thing."

All ten of us in an assorted type of uniform, Navy, Air force, Army and one Marine stared at each other with questioning eyes while we stood up from our chairs.

Curiosity filled their minds trying to interpret exactly what this man was wanting.

"Ka!" the old man commanded and started walking around the room, circles around us.

"He means 'Go!'" SPC Dick Muffin commanded in an arrogant tone. "Walk around the room!"

Everyone's eyes shifter to SPC Dick Muffin and they knew at that moment that he was indeed as his name implied a Dick Muffin. Nonetheless they all walked around the room.

"So! So! So! type thing...." Mr. Kim stopped and repeated, "So!"

"That must mean stop," the red headed Private First Classes said in a normal tone of voice.

They all stopped walking in circles and stared at their new teacher.

"Ahn Ju Say yo!" Mr. Kim commanded in a soft tone of voice and sat down.

"Sit down," one female Specialist said trying to remember the Korean word for 'sit down.' "ahn ju say yo?" she repeated.

"Yes...uhhhh...Good good, you catching on," he said to the Specialist, who apparently had some college education coming into the army as a non private.

'No wonder she is so smart,' Private Burrows thought as she fought back the urge to close her eyes and take a one minute nap.

"I don't get it!" The short skinny Marine said in a loud tone of voice attempting to get the attention of the teacher, "you have us walk around in a circle and stop, then sit down...I mean what was the point of that?"

"Uhhhhh..." Mr. Kim looked confused and didn't understand the question. "I....uhhhh....teach you Korean...uhhhh....Han kook mal.."

"I understand you are the teacher," the Marine readjusts his uniform, "I just wanna know why you had us walk around the classroom several times, were we supposed to be counting, or switching seats?"

"No man!" the PFC began to laugh a little, "he is giving us commands in Korean and we are supposed to be learning them and doing the commands."

"Well, why doesn't he just tell them to us in English?" the Marine replied, "I was so confused I thought we were switching seats."

Mr. Kim looked confused as if he didn't understand what the Marine was questioning and looked over at the female SPC for help.... "uh SPC McAtten, could you please...uh explain...u know?"

"He didn't tell us in English because we are learning Korean," SPC McAtten wondered what she had left her Pennsylvania town to engage in.

"Oh I get it now that you put it that way!" the Marine responded, "I thought he wanted to assign seats or something... I mean I am fine here where I am sitting. But I get it now, continue Mr. Kim." the marine motioned at Mr. Kim.

Private Burrows' mind wandered as she looked over the one Marine in class. She thought about the 'Army Way' and how much better it must be then the 'Marine Way', was it really true that they were all muscle and no brain? If that is true then this Marine must be the smartest Marine there is having been given the opportunity to come to this language school. Perhaps he was the only Marine with a brain.

That was the first day of school, the beginning of an adventure none of them will forget and friendships that shall remain unbroken.